You Say It's Your Rez Day......

.....It's My Rez Day Too, Yeah!!

One year ago today I made my first appearance on Second Life. My first exposure to SL was watching my wife have lesbian sex with some unknown avi while some pervert guy watched...lmao. I thought to myself, "This isn't The Sims...." And when she talked me in to joining, it was merely temporary, so she could get her 1000L referral fee. After logging in, I was quickly bored. I visited a sex club, and saw....noobie sex going on, which bored me. I walked around a lot, and was bored. And then I started searching for stuff. Very shortly, I found some live music events that were pretty good. Then I found one, Juel Resistance, that was very good. And on my first Saturday on SL, I found an AA meeting, which blew me away. Not only was it a good meeting, but there were genuinely great people there, which knowing AA's is not surprising. I realized then and there that this was not what I thought it was. I also realized that after toying around with the idea of being a character, that I would be myself.

Since then, I have fallen in love, become a decent DJ, bought land, had my heart broken in tiny pieces, made a ton of outstanding friends, been through a most frustrating experience with another person, been a complete asshole, made amends for that, bought more land, started creating, served in AA in SL,and who knows what is next. I've learned much about myself, good and bad. I've been a complete dick and a saint. I turned into a female avi as a joke and had so much fun that I created an alt who is sexy and beautiful, and no, she does not have sex with boys. That's just too weird for me. :-) And, yes, there will be a post on that "development" coming up. I will introduce you to Aeryn. ;-)

SL has, at times, swallowed up my RL. I am an addict, and I admit that. I'm grateful that I am aware of that and that when I go over the edge, I eventually catch myself and can pull back. I admit that if I could make a living, a RL living, on SL, I would do so in a heartbeat. I would love to own sims and to learn how to create and build and script. I would love to make a decent sex bed with great poses...lol. I would love to get involved in the SL music scene and promote artists who are talented and might not have the opportunity to play in RL.

I see so many possibilities in SL. That is part of what makes it so attractive. Maybe it's because I have become somewhat jaded in RL and I don't see those possibilities in the rush and clatter of everyday RL. And maybe, just maybe, SL can rekindle the co-creator in me that I know exists....that child of God, the "image and likeness" that can create the life in RL that I want. Abundance and love and joy. I get those now and then in RL, but it's not where I live. Maybe SL can help me find that, and if it does, then it is truly a magickal place, and not just an escape from RL. But maybe it can become a catalyst.

I am creating, or re-creating my island to help me in that venture. It is to be a spiritual place, that I will carry with me into RL, and that also comes from RL. Meditation, yoga, tai chi, Magick, love and joy and beauty. And I want to share it with you.

So Happy Rez Day to me.

*wishes and blows out the candles*

Enjoying the beauty of life.....

Sometimes I really need to stop and really look at my life objectively. And I do mean RL and SL, as they are intertwined so deeply these days. It's easy to get caught up in what I think is wrong. It's easy to judge someone else who is acting like a twit or a child. And, that does me no good. I come back to myself and what is important. I stop and pet my dog, or kiss my son and/or wife....I hug a friend. I stop and watch the sun rise and just breathe. Or maybe I just breathe.....

That heaven that I so desperately long for is always right here, in my heart. It's doesn't happen after I die....why wait until then for happiness....one of the big lies of religion. Just breathe.....

It's so sad to watch someone else self-destruct and try to destroy others. It's sad to watch someone refer to other human beings as cancer. I understand how easy it is to demonize another human being. It makes it easy for us to justify anything that we do. Since they are evil, we can do what we want. In RL we kill them, in SL we orbit them. They have nothing to offer us, so we discard them. I'm glad that I can see in myself what I hate in others and work on that rather than pretending that I'm better than you are. Because I am not. I'm just another child on the bus. But there comes a time when I have to realize that this is not my problem anymore and all I can do is be the best person I can be. And just breathe.......

I"m glad I have the friends I do have today. I am glad I do not have any enemies...no one to discard or throw away. I'm glad that I have the ability to be able to approach someone I have wronged and make amends for what I have done wrong. And I'm glad that I can forgive those who have hurt me, without asking for anything in return. As my second sponsor used to say, "Forgiveness is for giving." Give it away...free of charge. Please. It's not for them, it's for us.

For you, my friends, I love you all. I really do. I'm talking Second Life now, of course. You have made my life richer and more full. For those of you who would like me to fail, to hurt....I love you to and wish you the best. We're not so much different as we would like to think we are.

Just breathe......