Second Life Today

Today, I am enjoying Second Life. I really am. I've cut back some, except for the Savoy celebration last week. I'm on as Crighton more than I have been in some time. Things are pretty smooth as far as my "duties" go. Marco is at capacity, so the only thing I have to do with it for now is the occasional security system issue. Savoy basically runs itself, with minor financial chores per week. I am excited to furnish and decorate both C and A's places in the coming week, and that's about it.

So why am I having fun? I'm hanging with my friends, spinning tunes and just dicking around. Oh, and baseball started, which gives me something outside of SL to enjoy.

I think too, that taking care of myself spiritually in RL helps a bit too, huh?

:-D

Simplify!!

I have curtailed my vast and somewhat insane list of projects. I think do to stress and must plain nuttiness, I was looking to keep myself busy to keep from dealing with life. In the last couple weeks, I've made strides on actually dealing with things, so these other ventures have become unnecessary. Maybe in the future, but not now.

I sold all of Aeryn's mainland and gave up the rental business. I'm not concerned with adding products to her shop for now. If I'm going to rent store space though, I will have to do something. So, for now, I am managing Marco Island and the Savoy, and DJing probably too much, at least until I find RL work.

I'm feeling quite a bit better about stuff now. :-)

I've Lost It!!

Seriously.....

I know as of this moment, I'm unemployed, mostly by choice....but damn.

If you're confused, I'll get to the point. I'm busy in SL....very busy. Don't get me wrong, cause I'm having alot of fun with new ventures, but....here's my SL.

I DJ as Crighton eight gigs a week, at two to three hours a show. I also run Marco Island. I also run The Savoy Jazz Club. As Aeryn, I have as shop that sells shapes and am looking at other possibilities as well. And my newest venture is renting skyboxes above mainland, however, this is small scale as of now. I do hope to grow the rental business, though.

So, what the hell? I enter into new ventures, and then wonder why I am doing it. Hmmmmmmm.

The DJing I love, since I truly love music. I had a great week this week, and by that I don't necessarily mean that my gigs were packed (some of them were,) or that I made alot of money (I did okay,) but rather the people that were there had a blast and I felt that I spread some joy. And that is what music is for me. If I can do that, then I'm very happy. :-)

Running the Savoy has been a joy as well, as it is music related. All my DJs, artists and hosts are exceptionally professional and I really don't have much to do, other than lead by example and give support. The actually work is minimal, for the most part. Running Marco Island is about the same, as the sim is fully rented as of now. The only real work is attending to minor issues like malfunctioning security units, and listing rentals if someone moves out.

Aeryn's shop and her rental business are where some work comes into play, as this requires some time and effort to get off the ground. I guess the worst case scenario is that if it requires too much time and energy, I'll bag it and move on. It's not like I really need this, but it is fun! :-)

The one thing I need to keep in mind is how this infringes on my SL relationships and friendships. Simply put, the people are what is important here, and if I can remember that, then I will be fine, no matter what the rest of my SL brings me.

Two Year Reflections.....

It was two years ago that Crighton Johin first rezzed his noobie ass in SL.

Jenda and I joined about the same time, and as noobs, we wandered aimlessly, fascinated by SL and what we found. We were both looking for things that interested us, both together and on our own. I found the live music scene and AA and was hooked. This is particularly amusing considering when I joined it was only for Jen to get a referral fee reward. Honestly, I was getting bored, but after finding the music and AA, I realized that SL was much more than I bargained for.

After a long time as wandering around as a newbie, I eventually succumbed to the lure of a nice skin and my appearance evolved over the months to something a bit more handsome. I fell in love and was amazed at the bond that we could make in SL. I also found out first hand that the pains of relationships in SL are just as real as in RL. My love of music and my frustration at finding decent internet radio stations led me to the art of SL DJing, thanks to friends who pushed and mentored me. (hugs to Jocelyn) This led to a new level of socializing, that in RL was unheard of for me. I settled into my life as a SL DJ and loved it. Not only did I have the awesome privilege of playing music I actually liked (I was horrified at the thought of playing pop music,) but I actually made some decent money doing so. Getting paid for doing something I love? This was definitely better than RL!

Along the way, my life got busy and complicated and being a solitary person, I was having a hard time dealing with the rigors of being *gasps* somewhat popular, so I decided to create an alt. By this time, I had become quite curious about the female avatar and decided to create an alt that was female. Thus, Aeryn was born. Quite quickly, she became a relatively big part of my SL. She spent my money and eventually became my favorite avatar to use during free time. I'm sure much speculation ensued about me and my Aeryn *grins* but there was really nothing perverted or nefarious about her. She shopped and danced and eventually opened up her own shape shop. Yes, I found out that I had an eye for proportion that some don't have, and tried to capitalize on that. I ran out of gas on that venture, but still have the shop open and may do something with it in the future. Most of my friends now know about Aeryn and I think they humor me and my double life and I love them for it.

Last year, Bill Mondegreen and I talked about jazz and opening up a jazz club. Bill built and and was instrumental in it's opening. I merely showed up and spun jazz on a regular basis. I was amazed that we actually garnered a following that grew steadily. Bill eventually had some RL issues to deal with and the management of the club fell on me. We steadily added more gigs, blues and jazz. We added a couple fabulous female live vocalists to sing and our traffic grew. I can now say, without hesitation, that the Savoy is a success and is, in my opinion, the best jazz and blues club in SL. I am honored to be working with the DJs, hosts, and performers we have at the Savoy. And is it really working if I have a blast?

Next up on my thrilling ride through SL fun and insanity was Aeryn's turn to the dark side. Yes, she became a vampire. As if I needed something else to occupy my time, while looking innocently for a nice pair of fangs, Aeryn was seduced to the dark side by a handsome Frenchman with pointy teeth. No, there was no funny business, just some neck biting....lol. Immersing myself into Bloodlines with Aeryn pushed me to a whole new level of socializing and I found myself having fun helping.....newbies? Yes, that's right. A vampire with a heart of gold. :-) Don't get me wrong, she still wants your soul, but I found that through BL, I ran into more newbies than every before, and used the opportunity for good, rather than collecting souls. Don't forget though, Aeryn still wants your soul.

Next on the winding road that is SL, Marco Island was dropped in my lap. Yes, I now own a sim, which brings with it a whole new set of responsibilities and pressures, not the least of which is real life money. Things have been good so far and I think I've done well with it. I try to keep a healthy balance between being fair to my fellow Islanders and being smart with rent so I'm not left owing money. We haven't changed much, but we're looking at improvements and ways to help us all in our endeavors.

So last night, we had a two year rez day party for me. Kimala did such a good job setting it up and I had a blast. I let my ego run wild and played some of my favorite rock music, and I hope I didn't run anyone off. ;-) And through all this post, I have not even talked about the most important aspect of SL, at least for me. Friends. That will be my next blog entry, as I've already gone on and on here. But I've been so fortunate in my SL to have found the absolute best bunch of people that I call friends. Second Life has had a set of pitfalls that I've stepped in, including my obsessive/addictive nature. I've also been struggling with the whole concept of doing something I love in RL, rather than just in SL. It has shown me how dissatisfied I am in my RL career, or lack thereof. But that is something I will have to deal with.

In the mean time, I love Second Life and my friends there. Considering that I was there only temporarily, it's turned out to be quite some trip....dare I say a long strange trip?

Ch-Ch-Changes.....

...but not big changes. Last night I DJ'd at Bistro Olive for the first time and had a wonderful time. I've given up two gigs and I believe another one will be going by the wayside also. I'm quite sure I'll be picking up another to replace that one, though. *winks at Parker*

So things are changing. A few months ago, I was DJing nine gigs a week, which is too much. I was having fun and making lots of Lindens, but I started getting burnt out. Then I have this problem of saying "no" and not wanting people to be upset with me. Another form of sefishness, really....

So, now, if things shake out the way I think they will, I'll have six gigs a week, which should be okay. That gives me more time to do the RL stuff I need to and the time on SL to dick around and have fun. I can always pick up another or do a special gig now and then.

And a treat to do with the topic of this post....Time by Pink Floyd

Not enough time in the day....

....to do what I want AND what I need. I've been trying to get Aeryn's shape shop off the ground for awhile. I put some time in to getting the shop up and a few shapes in it, but I've come to the realization that I just can't do it right now. I'm supposed to be ready to do a showcase next week and I just can't do it, not with everything to do around the house and with Jake starting school and my other obligations in SL at this time. As far as SL goes, my music does come first, because that is what I love doing.

So, I guess I'll keep the shop up until the rent runs out....I still have a couple weeks to change my mind.

We'll see.....

Sick....blech!

I've been sick for three days now.....eeek. Kind of a mild flu thing. You know I'm not right when I don't log in to SL until almost 4pm. I sat on the couch and took it easy for most of the day. I got a live singer lined up for next Friday though! The fabulous Inchino Melson will be singing at the Savoy Jazz Club next Friday at 2pm! I'm very excited. This is my first real project in the Savoy other than DJing and lending my sparkly personality to the club. She will be fabulous, I'm sure!

Other than that, I'm really being kind of scarce on SL this week. Next week, I need to get Aeryn busy on some new shapes and putting some freebies out in the shop. I also need to actually put furniture in my new house....lol. I'm such a slacker.

Oh well, I'm off the shop...RL that is. Groceries, in case you are thinking something exciting. See you next week!!

Second Life....Practical Purposes?

When I started in Second Life, I was wide eyed with the possibilities, not just from a practical point of view...making money, creating stuff, meeting people..etc. From a spiritual point of view, I immediately sense possibilities beyond the simple. From a spiritual viewpoint, I realized that I could create the Second Life that I wanted. My world, my imagination, right?

I thought that I could create the SL I wanted and maybe find a way to translate that to my RL. I started DJing, which with my love of music is a perfect job for me, and hoped that somehow I could move in that direction in RL. I bought up some land and built a beautiful retreat with meditation spots and tai chi balls and lots of trees and water, in hopes that I could move that into my RL, not the objects, but the spirituality and the feeling. I became outgoing and, for the most part, a pretty good friend to a lot of people. I got involved in AA in SL and hoped that would move in to my RL as well. I was successful financially, which was huge!

All of these things have helped in varying degrees. But what shocked me is that much of my RL crept into SL. I started becoming too busy. I was irresponsible financially and spent more than I made...ugggh! I was very unfocused and undisciplined. Now I know that SL should be fun, and it is, but even my fun was......irresponsible and scattered.

I have taken some steps that have helped me immensely. I have stopped taking on more responsibility for the time being. I have spent more time in RL getting things organized and keeping up with RL chores, etc. I have also spent some time in RL doing fun stuff, as SL was all my fun for a long time. And, now, I'm at another crossroads. Where do I go from here? Second Life is more than I ever imagined it could be, and that is largely due to the people I have met. They have supported me and loved me. They have pushed me and helped to wake me up, even when I just wanted to roll over and sleep some more. They have pissed me off and showed me parts of myself I didn't want to acknowledge. And we have this amazing platform to meet these people, so different and yet the same, and live and learn together. So, again, where do I go from here?

At one time, I was on the right track. I was using SL to evolve in my life, but life is like gravity sometimes. And so is my ego, always wanting to drag me back to the comfortable...the known. I believe in archetypes....those supposedly mythical figures in literature and film that are larger and life. Aragorn and Gandalf from Lord Of The Rings. Tristan and Isoldt. King Arthur. Buddha and Jesus. All archetypes that we have inside us...living and breathing as though they are here now, in the flesh. That story that really speaks to us? What character is in it that is so powerful and that I relate to so well....that I wish I was maybe? That archetype is inside me awaiting my calling, to guide me. I think, in a sense, Crighton and Aeryn are archetypes. Last week at work, I was having a rough morning and was feeling quite sad and almost hopeless, and in my mind, I saw Aeryn with her hand on my back, and things got better. I felt a strength and compassion....coming from within. WTF?...lol. And it seems, that if my avis come from me...are created by me, when something happens like that, they are more alive...more me that I realize. If I'm open to it, of course. I've felt that way about certain characters before...female ones. Arwen in LOTR was a very powerful character. Aeryn Sun in Farscape is the epitome of a strong female...an amazing archetypal character, which is obvious I would feel that way as I picked her name for my alt. Aeryn is sometimes a much more powerful avi for me to be due to this, I think. A lot of people think that I want to be a girl, I would guess. Not the case at all. I'm not sure why I love logging in as her, half the time. I would say that in a totally non spiritual way, I am narcissistic and love looking at my totally hot female creation!! :-D

Seriously again....getting away from all that, which I'm sure has confused you as much as it has me writing it. Musically, I have decided that I need to take a look at what I do for a living, and how to incorporate what I love into it. I love music, with all my being. It is where my heart is...my soul...my spirit. And, in particular, jazz has really taken a hold of me. I have a decent knowledge of it...the basics. And, oddly enough, Second Life has given me this gift. If it were not for SL, I would not have found jazz again, although I have no doubt it would have found me....lol. I was thinking yesterday, that I would like to pursue this avenue in my life. I think about me sitting behind a mic playing jazz, and occasionally talking about it and I think that would be heaven. I would have to be more professional than I am obviously, but I've always been able to do what I want when I love what I'm doing, more or less. Is there really a demand for this though? This is not pop or rock music, and I'm not doing smooth jazz....eeek! So, I've decided to put the key in this door, and i"m looking through the peep hole to see what's there....probably a couple more doors...lol. So I'm thinking of investigating some of the radio stations here in town, the smaller ones. I know one that plays jazz, at least one. And where do I go from there? I have no fucking idea....but I need to at lest look and see....

The Best

"I am in no mood in this stage of my life to have anything else."

Wow.....I keep going back to this statement. I found this nugget on Joonie's Blog

What an amazing affirmation. Reminds me of how often I can settle for less. I have a tendency to.....settle in to whatever I'm in, good or bad. Many times I don't notice until I'm out of whatever it is I'm into...lol. Hindsight is, indeed, 20/20.

And yes, this pertains to my SL, too. And that is because, although it is SL, it is real. Maybe not real in the sense that I am with someone in SL the way I am in RL. But it is real. My reactions and feelings and soul and defects are still present, whether I'm in the kitchen with Jen in RL or whether I'm with you in SL. It's all there, except our physical presence. And not to deny or denigrate the physical, it really is much less important to me than it used to be. I am a spiritual being living in a physical world.....or a virtual world. Obviously RL is more important for the simple reason that if I don't pay my tier, my avi is homeless. If I don't pay my mortgage me and my family are homeless...lol.

Anyways.....talk about a tangent...lol. In SL, this settling can take many forms. I worked at a club where I didn't get paid too well....tips were shit...for a long time. Now, I don't DJ for the money, but if I can work at another club and do the same thing for much more money and have much fun, why not? I stayed way longer than I should have, because I was comfortable there. And, I believe part of it also, was I was afraid to hurt someone else's feelings, and maybe I felt I didn't deserve better? The owner of the club (original) has serious people skill issues, and I didn't feel much of a loyalty to him. But things change, I'm out of there...and start a new Thursday night gig tonight. And getting paid extremely well too. :-)

The main thing as always is that this is an inner job. Once I truly feel that I deserve the best, I will expect the best. I will attract the best. I will discard what does not serve me well and what hurts me. And this starts within.

I have someone that I care about very much right now, and who treats me extremely well. So patient and understanding....and positive....lord she's positive. And I'm in no mood right now to have anything less.....