Thursday, July 17, 2008

Leaving Las Vegas....

...or leaving Second Life.

No, I'm not leaving, but this post is about other people leaving. A friend of mine left SL the other day. It was kind of surprising and abrupt, at least to me. But then I'm not a close friend so maybe it was in the works for a while. Dixon sent out a notice that basically said due to RL he was retiring from SL. I have heard of people leaving SL, but they're usually back quite soon. I've heard of people taking breaks, and sometimes it works out and sometimes not.

We talk of relationships as though they are only with other human beings. But we have a relationship with everything we can interact with. We can RELATE with people, pets, possessions, SL avatars (which are really people whether we believe that or not,)and anything we interact with. Relationships change, because we change and because the thing we relate to can change. This applies to our relationship with Second Life itself, as well as all the avatars within Second Life. If I'm the type of person that gets bored easily, I may move on and leave SL just for that reason. I may also bounce from relationship to relationship in the same way. Sometimes the "other" in a relationship does not fulfill some need that we hoped it would. Of course this can be because we are asking too much or because the "other" has changed. We have a choice to either leave or to modify what we want from the "other." Sometimes our lives change and because of that, our relationship changes. Apparently, Dixon's RL has caused him to "retire" from SL, and I hope everything is okay and that he is okay.

I've heard a lot of stories and seen some pretty crazy things in SL, as far as this goes. I knew a person who faked their death so that they could get out of a SL relationship. They literally pretended to be their own spouse, and contacted someone in AA in SL to tell us that he had started drinking again and died drunk. We had a memorial service and everything. Later on, the story crept out that he had actually faked this RL death, so he could escape a relationship he was involved in, in SL. That is just insane. The word "coward" springs to mind immediately. I've heard of people who left SL and they friends and lovers to come back as an alt and start over again.

All this strikes a nerve in me, and upsets me greatly. Isn't it easier to just bite the bullet and tell the truth? The dishonesty and the running away is soooo much work, in the long run. And it shows such a lack of respect for everyone else, including the person doing the running. Sometimes it seems that many people think that just because we're not physically in the same room, that we can make allowances for our behavior and treat the other person disrespectfully because of that. That is what we call a rationalization.....a rationalization to be a self-centered prick. I can think of one person in particular right now this applies to, but I'll keep it to myself....for now.

I do want to emphasize that in no way am I saying that Dixon is doing any of these things. His actions, completely opposite and above board, just got me thinking. There are other instances recently that have got me thinking too and it all came to a head today. I, too, have not been on SL as much as I was before. I'm getting caught up in RL and making an effort to have some balance in my life.

It's very easy to suspect ulterior motives when one comes across actions that are just crazy, especially in SL. The doubt factor gets multiplied since we don't really see the other person. "Are they really who they say they are?" "What are they really up to?" "That alt reminds me of someone." It can make me crazy if I let it and if I entertain such thoughts for long. It's also a waste of mental energy, although the whole "is that an alt" conversations can be fun. ;-) So I have to go back to my old stand-by belief. Trust others (within reason) until they give me reason to not trust them. People are basically good and will live up to the expectations I place on them more often than not.

This has become a most rambling and incoherent I hope your brain doesn't explode trying to read it.


Parker said...

My brain goes crazy trying to understand the Peanuts in the comic section of the paper.

I have heard strange stories, usually by males making a very feeble attempt at wooing me. After my encounter with one who likes to create alts to come in and torment people and cause them harm, I often look at folks in SL and wonder if they are AVI or ALT. If they are ALT, what is the reason for it. Motives. Trust. Desire. If I were to sort through SL and figure things out I would go completely mad.

Kimala said...

Hey C - I love your long rambling reflections. SL is a wild ride - as well as RL. I'm glad you are balancing the teeter totter - we all need that.

I only said I was taking a mandatory break this weekend upcoming because I was to be without internet. Of course I have now weasled my way to have a connection... but... maybe a break and breathing deeply in some clean mountain RL air is a good thing.

*Hugs* for deep thoughts and rambling blogs ;)

Kimala said...

P.S. - I ALWAYS love a good ALT conspiracy theory... bring it on baby!

bigd Flanagan said...

Two posts in 24 hours? I'm freaking hardcore man. I better go outside and see if the moon is still there.

Love your posts!! Two for two leads to three for three. Go baby go!

Crighton Johin said...

lol D.....we are hardcore, dude!!!

Parker, my brain goes crazy thinking about what I should do first thing in the morning...and it just goes downhill from

Kim, I think I saw an alt tonight. Tell you about it

Bliss said...

I still don't get ALTs! You don't have your inventory! And without my sim to sim closet, I'd die! Yeesh.

Two posts? I..think..

/me gets her Bible out again.

Parker said...

/me humbly bows to Blissie - Inventory Queeen.

Yordie Sands said...

Concerning Dixon, I was pretty clost to the situation and I was stunned. I don't think Dixon will be back.

Your comments ring true, Crighton. Several people have told me they expect that Dixon will return as an Alt, but I don't know.

I too have had a relationship where we broke up and the guy returned later with many of the characteristics I like in a man. It took me a day to figure out that he was the guy. I dispise deceit like that.

I have an Alt. I used her to hide from that guy when he was stalking me, but like Blissie says, I needed my inventory.

Great entry, Crighton.

Parker said...

This is just a question.

A question for the curious among us.

It is not meant to dis the wonderful author of this blog.

It is just an inquiry.

Was that 3 posts a week in a calendar week or a given seven day period of time?

Joonie Jatho said...

um....just a little reminder that you have just 48 hours or so to post to get your 3 post/week in.

No pressure...just sayin'!

ROTF!!! /me wonders if he can do it....